i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
