so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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