watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize