remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
