oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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