if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
