we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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