At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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