nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
