you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
