Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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