I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
