The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
