We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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