At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
