Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
