mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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