did you get engaged???
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
