it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
