this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
