he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
