I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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