Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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