If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
