Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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