My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
