Define "chronic" masturbator.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
