i permit you to call me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
