girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
