its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
