eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
