All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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