I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
