I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
