Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
