We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
