worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
