a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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