The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
