but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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