Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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