my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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