I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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