sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
