i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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