I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
