I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
