My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
