He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
