i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
