I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
