i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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