I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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