Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
