I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
