I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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