you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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