You can't special order awesome
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
